My Life

I’m Doing This For Me! 

There are dates that tend to stick with us forever; birthdays, holidays, anniversaries… and for me I will always remember the day I decided to change my life for the better FOREVER. Eighteen months ago I decided it was time to take back my life, and start taking care of myself. I had a doctor’s appointment on October 19th where I weighed in at the highest weight I had ever seen on a scale (although I doubt it was my highest weight, but I refused to own a scale for many years. It’s called denial… 😳) Two weeks before I had cropped myself out of a picture from Braydon’s birthday because I was horrified, and ashamed of the way I looked. It was time to make a change, and there was no time to waste!

This is the original picture… I made sure I was cropped out before anyone else was able to see it. 😳

For as long as I can remember I have never made myself a priority. My husband, kids, house, and anyone or anything else I could take on in order to not have to focus on how far I had let myself go cane first. I was using food to cope with long deployments, separation from family, and the day to day stresses of life. Working out was not something I seriously considered, and diet was not a word that existed in my vocabulary. I just kept telling myself that the weight would come off eventually. Yet after years of believing this lie I told myself, I realized that it was time for me to make a change before it was too late. 

I drove home from the doctors office that day in tears. How had I let myself reach 200.6 pounds? Until this point ihad convinced myself that if I was under 200 pounds it wasn’t really THAT bad. Before I pulled back into my driveway I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt what I needed to do, and that night I joined Weight Watchers, and I was going to begin the Horry to becoming a skinnier me. I spent countless hours looking up point-friendly foods, tips and tricks, and stumbled upon an amazing group of women on Instagram known as the #wwsisterhood. These women became one of the greatest support systems I’ve ever known. 

If you are looking for support in your weight loss journey, this community is absolutely AMAZING!

From the very first week I started losing weight, and and was feeling AMAZING! As the weeks passed I noticed that my efforts to lose weight and become healthier were snowballing. I was walking five days a week, going to the gym that we had been a member of for months, but never actually went to, and time and time again was chosing healthy food over my favorite go-to junk foods. 

Now keep in mind that I have NEVER stuck to a workout plan or diet for more than two weeks, so the fact that I made it out of the first month was a HUGE accomplishment, but when I made it to six months I was astounded! Who had I become?! Not only was I maintaining this healthy lifestyle, but I was also starting to run. 😱 I have never run in my life, except for the few times in PE when I had absolutely no other choice. Running voluntarily was a first, and running multiple miles was a feat I had never been able to wrap my mind around before, let alone believe that it was something I could do. 

Millie and I after one of my Couch to 5K runs. I love her smile! 😊🐶💕
My Auntie Monica and I after my first 5K
Maddie Grace after The Color Run 😍
Who would have ever thought I would run a 10K!?

Along the way there have been plateaus, and gains, but never once have I given up. What started out as a journey to lose weight, get skinny and to reach my dream goal weight has become a lifestyle change where the only things that matter are how I feel, how I fuel my body and that I am constantly working towards a new goal and pushing myself harder. I have learned that the scale is not what determines my success, and that it’s perfectly fine if I never reach 135 pounds. Don’t get me wrong, there are days when the fact that I have run a half marathon, and have gone from a size 16 to a size 6 doesn’t matter at all because I’m not where I wanted to be when I stated 18 months ago. There are days when the scale tells me that I’m not working hard enough, not eating well enough because I haven’t lost enough. But the reality is that I have worked my ass off  (literally and figuratively), and the scale doesn’t know what the hell she’s talking about! 

The scale is not a good judge of success. The difference between these pictures is 5 pounds and two dress sizes. This is what I need to remind myself that I am still kicking ass!

I am no longer doing Weight Watchers, but sticking to a 80/20 clean eating/whole foods diet. After a round of Whole30 last summer, and using Weight Watchers Simply Filling technique for several months I have found that this is what works best for me, and what makes me happiest. I couldn’t see myself counting points, counting calories or measuring and weighing everything I eat for the rest of my life. Instead I am fueling my body with whole foods, healthy fats and the occasional bowl of ice cream! 🍦 Balance is key, and I have found what works for me! 

So today I refuse to step on the scale, or break out the tape measure to see how far I have come in the past 18 months (or how far I have to go), instead I will celebrate all of the things I have achieved in the last year and a half, all of the goals I have crushed, and all of the confidence and self love I have gained! I may never reach 135 pounds, and I am okay with that. I am 31 years old, have had 4 amazing kids, am in the best shape of my life, have lost 45 pounds and am EXTREMELY proud of myself! 

It’s so hard to believe that these two pictures are only 14 months apart!

Me at my heaviest vs me now!

Oh, and that picture as I cropped myself out of… I saved that outfit, and I use it to remind myself of just how far I have come. It sits on the top shelf of my closet, and every once in a whole I take it down as a reminder of all of my hard work and what I never want to let myself get back to. 

It’s been a while since I’ve tried this on… I think it’s time I break it out again.


2 thoughts on “I’m Doing This For Me! 

  1. Your journey is so inspiring! I love the different pictures in the same outfit, it’s definitely something I’d like to do! I really like your positivity and the way you’re doing things your way by focusing on what you’ve accomplished. This was a great read, thanks for sharing! x

    Liked by 1 person

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